Printers: the gift that keeps on taking

I went to see Hewlett-Packard in Paris to talk about the need to use HP-branded coloured water and carbon dust in their printers. Only to be told that these are hi-tech products more akin to magic water and fairy dust.

On the night before the meeting I went to find a local bijou bistro for a bite to eat and a glass of good wine. On my way an attempt was made to mug me at knife-point. Fortunately, some public-spirited locals came to my assistance and I only lost my watch and not my life. Such occurrences jolt the mind and scramble your thoughts as you try to make sense of the world.

After listening to HP argue that third-party consumables may harm their printers, I came to an interesting concept. When you buy a printer from HP, or any other mainstream manufacturer, it's like contracting a mugger to visit your house from time to time. Every so often you have to pay what they demand or suffer the consequences.

It's like drug dealing. Get 'em hooked at cost-price and keep bleeding them of cash.

Certainly, the printer manufacturers have a valid argument if you want optimum results and, where their laser products are concerned, toner is certainly a high-tech product. But I've never heard enough complaints about ink to make me doubt that the majority of ink-based printer users are happy with refilled cartridges and cheap supermarket paper.

Where colour fidelity is concerned I think most people consider close enough to be good enough. Let's face it, colour blindness affects 1 in 10 people so a lot of people, myself included, perceive colours differently. When it comes to colour fidelity "Frankly, my dear, I couldn't give a damn," as Rhett (or was it Ghreemm) Butler said.

But, argued HP, the image will last for at least 70 years if HP branded consumables are used. So what? The results are projected lab results and I'll be dead before real world tests are complete so I won't be suing them if they're wrong. Besides which, images are digital. If it fades, print another one.